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SLICE OF LIFE | dani vong

Sad girl sings silly sad songs.

Viv Nguyen

05 Oct 2023 — 21 min read

dani vong (pronouns: she/her) is a Lao-American singer-songwriter creating indie alternative pop music. From writing lyrics to sound engineering, dani self-produces her own songs as a form of self-expression and a way for her to cope with feelings as a child of immigrant parents. Through her melancholy tunes and somber lyrics, every sad song she creates puts a smile on your face.

btw she plays multiple instruments, too. It’s so rad.

Viv: Alright! Are you good to go?

dani: Yeah, I'm good. I’m ready.

Viv: HELL YEAH Let’s get started.

So I was listening to your recent album, ‘GOOD GRIEF!’, right before our chat

I’m still so amazed that you publish and produce all of your songs. It blows my MIND.

dani: Aww, thanks! yeah I feel like this is the new music industry now. These past few years have been very focused on independent artists trying to figure out how to do things ourselves because…labels aren’t very much our allies.

Viv: 100%, it seems like they were more built for artists who they think will reel in a lot of engagement and put production budget behind them

whereas I’ve seen a lot of indie artists create sets out of things you can buy at like, craft stores, for example.

dani: exactly, and you have freedom for creativity.

whenever you go through labels, you have to go through a bunch of teams, which is a lot of work. Most artists sign a contract saying that they have to recoup a certain amount of money for the label before they can get their own money, so it’s moreso like a loan.

Viv: *gasp*

dani: so say you sign a contract with a big label and you get a million dollars. All the revenue you make for the label has to go back to them until you pay off that “loan” they gave you.

so the streams you make, all the merch you sell, all the tours you do…you don’t get that money back.

Viv: damn, that sucks…that’s so much pressure for someone who just wants to be able to express themselves through music.

dani: yeah exactly

Viv: especially nowadays where we have technology that views music less as an art form and more as a consumable product for an algorithm

But like…emotions don’t really fit an algorithm

dani: Nope, not at all. people have a specific niche to them, and I don’t think robots can capture that.

Viv: I agree. It really makes me appreciate music artists like you. I listen to your songs and I can see parts of you in your music. No one can replicate your music…except you.

dani: exactly

you get it, you just get it! 😭 😭

Viv: Haha! I mean I’m also an indie creative, so it makes sense.

there are a lot of indie alternative artists, but your songs are very uniquely you and that’s what I like about it. It’s from your own experiences, and that’s what I enjoy.

dani: Yeah. I love how in different art forms, you can just capture the experiences you go through.

Viv: Yeah!

dani: More stories!

Viv: MORE SMALL STORIES!

dani: yeah! 😄

Viv: On the topic of experiences, let’s talk about GOOD GRIEF!, your most recent album

dani: okay 😀

Viv: I listen to it repeatedly

Like I’m guilty of breaking my replay button it’s so good LOL

dani: d’aww 😭

Viv: your album caught my eye specifically because of the lyrics. While I was listening to it, I kinda had this…brain-unlocking moment. Something clicked in my head that was like “wait, i’ve had that experience before.”

Like you know how a lot of music out there is about romance and relationships and stuff? Your songs go in a different direction. With your songs, you talk about going through life not knowing what’s going on, but you’re riding the waves anyway

you put into words what I’ve been trying to put into words for years. you did that in eight songs.

That is MAGICAL

dani: 😭

I got chills…that’s so good

I’m so glad you understand it as it is.

Viv: 💗

I can definitely summarize my perspective on the album, but I wanna hear your thought process behind making the album first

the titles, the lyrics, everything

dani: are we getting into detail about the whole album?

Viv: we can dive into as much of it as you want

dani: 😄

I’m SO excited okay so

“GOOD GRIEF!” is the first album that I created, and it went through a lot of stages. It started in college when I was pursuing my B.S. in Arts and Entertainment Technologies. It’s a pretty broad degree for learning music production, video editing, animation — just all the entertainment tech. In the end, I decided I wanted to go into music production.

I got into music because I really enjoyed songwriting. That was the way that I coped with my emotions growing up. Living in an immigrant household, you’re not able to express your emotions like you want to, and i had a lot of sad emotions as an angsty teen girl

Viv: my inner child just heard that and went, “she gets it!”

dani: yeah! exactly, and that’s kinda what this album captured. I stored a bunch of songs during college

Originally, this album was gonna be called “Guinea Pig” because i felt like a guinea pig throughout my whole life. i’m a first-generation Asian-American and first college graduate, first…a lot of things, so I felt like a guinea pig.

however, as more songs came into light and as i grew older, i kinda saw these songs almost as like a reflection. Like me as a 25-year-old looking back at these songs, i was still in my teenage years, so that’s why it changed to “GOOD GRIEF!”

Like GOOD GRIEF that I don’t really relate to all of these songs like I did before…and i’m glad i don’t, because that was such a tough part of my life lol

Viv: Do you mind if I ask you something? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to

dani: yeah go ahead!

Viv: Are you an only child, or do you have siblings?

dani: I have one sibling and she’s 20, so she’s five years younger than me.

Viv: …no kidding.

dani: yeah why what’s up LOL

Viv: I also have a sister…

…and she’s five years younger than me.

dani: no way!

Viv: Yeah!

dani: is this like, an older sibling connection right here?

Viv: yeah that’s exactly what i was thinking! the reason that i asked is because you were mentioning being a first-generation Asian American

And as far as I know, I think I’m the first college graduate as well in the family

dani: yesss!

Viv: but see, now I’ve learned a third thing about you—you’re the eldest daughter of your family, just like me

i think there’s been a lot of talks about eldest immigrant daughters online recently and how they have so much on their shoulders, so listening to the songs in “GOOD GRIEF!” helped me understand and process my emotions around that 😭 💗

feeling like you’re responsible for people, feeling super lost, feeling like you have to teach people things…while you’re still learning them at the same time.

dani: YESSS! EXACTLY! 😖

Viv: yeah and it’s so difficult to do. Like…how can you still be a teacher when you’re still a student…for the same things.

dani: no i get that so much

Ugh

YOU UNDERSTAAAND 😭

I recently moved back to my hometown in houston, and it was because i wanted to help my sister move out and experience adult life

so now i live with her and a couple of other people here in the city

Viv: that’s wonderful!

dani: yeah!

actually, thinking back on this album, part of the whole process was about trying to teach lessons to the younger generation

And i didn’t realize that it also included my sister

cause coming back, i kinda see her life now, and it’s a lot of what i went through at her age (relationship-wise, education-wise, etc)

so i’m really glad i’m here to kinda help guide her as much as she’d let me

Viv: it’s like watching your life happen again, except it’s through another person

dani: yeah!

Viv: what this sounds like (to me) is that GOOD GRIEF! is you chronicling your experiences and then seeing the parallels between those and what your sister’s going through

It’s a WILD thing to think about

dani: exactly! It’s crazy

and i have to be patient too because…as she’s going through life, some things aren’t clicking for her. but i kinda know now that in some cases, she needs to go through that journey herself

I feel like i’m discovering things as we’re talking hahaha

Viv: i mean SAME

I’m learning so many parallels between your relationship with your sister and my relationship with my sister.

like i also have those moments where I don’t know if i should intervene with her life, or let her live it out.

dani: yeah

specifically with me and my sister, we grew up learning that we kinda do things on our own, so sometimes my sister’s very closed off and i’m very closed off, so it’s difficult to kinda reach out to each other when we know that maybe the other person might need someone else

which kinda sucks, and like…idk, that’s part of why i make music like this, cause i can’t express these feelings, so hopefully her and other people could relate to these feelings and feel not so alone

Viv: yeah

Well if not her, then i definitely feel not alone listening to this

dani: *gasp*

Aww

Viv: cause it’s kinda like

We just had the realization that both of us are eldest daughters with younger siblings. It’s the realization that someone else understands what i’m going through, and you say it in a message that clicks with me

So i can imagine that people like your friends and your partner also listen to your music and they find it relatable too. It’s the beauty of indie music, the idea that there’s so many artists out there and there are many opportunities to find music that’s relatable.

dani: it’s so awesome, i’m so glad

I’m just happy right now

Viv: haha I’m glad!

I wanna move on to your parents’ reaction to your music career. We both know Asian parents (maybe immigrant parents in general) give one of several responses: they’re either skeptical or supportive, at least in the beginning. Where were your parents at in that sense?

dani: that’s kinda hard for me to figure out. I don’t know myself.

my parents aren’t very good at expressing their feelings. I would say overall they are very supportive.

so a bit of history: I started making music around when i was 12, like i started playing piano and i learned through youtube tutorials. we didn’t have a piano or a keyboard at the time, but my neighbor (who happens to be a relative) had a piano.

so what i would do is, at home i would watch the youtube videos and try to memorize all of the things they taught, and then i would run over next door and be like “can I use your piano?” and just play along with it

Viv: OH LOL

dani: after a couple of months, my dad was like “hmm, she’s going over there a little too often, let me get her a keyboard” haha

so my other uncle passed down his keyboard to me and that’s how the support began to trickle in

when it came time to choose what i wanted to do for college, i was very much torn between the computer engineering route that my dad encouraged me to take and i got into music school to play oboe (cause i played oboe in the marching band)

Viv: oh that’s neat!

dani: yeah

so my whole senior year, i was like so boggled on what i should do…like, should i do music, computer engineering, etc

somehow, two months before i had to figure it out, i got accepted to the university of texas at austin’s program for arts and entertainment technologies. it was like a little blend between software engineering and music

And so that’s what I decided to do

Overall, their goal was wanting me to go to college, so i think as long as i went to college, they were fine with supporting whatever i did

As i was away from college, i think the absence of me kinda allowed them to be like, “okay, we should support our daughter in whatever she does” lol

but also like, the pressure of them wanting me to be successful and whatever that meant to them also got into my head. I was like, “what does successful mean? What am I even doing? How can you even be successful in music? Do I have to get on the radio?”

idk lol, it was a very confusing time, but my parents were supportive in the way they knew they could be

Viv: that makes sense! Now that i think about it, STEM majors and other structured career paths have specifically defined “success” factors, but when it comes to arts and entertainment, there isn’t that defined goal of “success” like you said

dani: yeah!

Viv: like it carries multiple meanings. If you went on the radio, is that successful? If you put on a concert, is that successful?

Maybe success is just based on what you personally define as successful tbh

dani: RIGHT?

Viv: YEAH

I guess because there’s no clear idea of “success,” your parents don’t really know how to react to it, and as immigrant parents, they already don’t express their emotions that well since Asian households for the most part just….help provide for you

dani: yeah

That kinda reminds me of a time that my dad and i had a bit of beef because of what we saw as a “successful music career.”

So my family, they’re really big on music. My uncles have a band that they play at every party.

It’s a step up from karaoke, like there’s a whole live band—

Viv: I was gonna say, is it like karaoke with extra steps? With a band??

dani: Yeah they got the whole gig! We go outside, everyone’s dancing, there’s a whole thing

my dad’s not a musician himself, but he always pushes me to try to perform with the band.

But it’s kinda different because they’re very much in their 40s chasing hard rock & the band life kinda thing, whereas i’m just in my room with the singer-songwriter vibe, so i don’t really connect with them and I don’t think my dad really understood that

He just wanted to support in the way that he could, and that’s how he could — get me to play with them.

Viv: so your family (outside of your parents) seem very musically-inclined—does that mean you’re past the point of trying to validate the whole “music can be a career” thing?

dani: Yeah! I have uncles that are into music, but my dad is very much a tech guy

Viv: …Well that explains the engineering push LOL

dani: right lol

he’s funny. He goes through like….”phases” of tech. Like he gets really into a specific thing.

He got into a drone phase once, so he’s like, driving drones all over the house. Right now, he’s into 360 cameras.

Viv: Oh so like go-pros and stuff?

dani: yeah, so every time there’s a party that happens, he just has that recording somewhere, it’s so funny

Viv: that definitely beats the iPhone camcorder days for sure

my family does this thing where, if they’re at a family party, they’ll take out their phones and go on Facebook Live and film around the place

dani: YEAHHHH

Viv: So I can’t imagine there being a drone and seeing different angles that isn’t just someone holding up their phone.

dani: He does that too. He does the Facebook Lives.

Viv: REALLY?

dani: YEAH

But he’s like, “you know what, let’s do a step up.”

Viv: LOL

“We’re REALLY gonna level up.”

dani: it’s so funny

Every time there’s a drone up there, my cousins are like, “your dad’s doing his thing” and i’m like “yep, that’s definitely my dad” hahaha

Viv: it’s a trademark!

“Drone? Yep, that’s dad again.”

dani: yeah haha

Viv: I have some uncles who are also into tech, so I’m probably gonna ask them and be like “hey so…have you considered getting into drones?”

dani: right???

Viv: I mean during the summer that’d be a GREAT idea

dani: if you have like, park days or pool days, that would be cool footage

So funny story, my dad actually got out of his drone phase because he was drunk driving his drone

Viv: …How do you drunk drive a dro—

HANG ON

dani: NO NO LOL

Viv: PLEASE EXPLAIN

dani: No no it was just like him drunk like remote-controlling his drone

And then he crashed it hahaha

Viv: so your dad’s just tipsy and he’s like, trying to maneuver it and something happens where it crashed

dani: yeah

He was like “it's over, it’s over. My phase is over.”

‘cause those are expensive, the drones. with his drone specifically, the little wing fell off

Viv: OH NO

THE LITTLE WING 😭

dani: So he was like “alright, on to 360 cameras then”

Viv: and it’s not like there’s a drone repair shop in the same way that there’s a car repair shop.

dani: RIGHT

Viv: that’s one of the funniest things i’ve ever heard so far

drunk driving a drone

dani: hahaha

Viv: On the topic of technology

dani: mhm

Viv: i want to hear about the producing side of your music

Like you mentioned, you do EVERYTHING on your end. You sing your songs, you write your songs, you produce your songs, you do EVERYTHING

So that must mean you must have your own little home studio right? With equipment and everything

dani: Yeah! basically I produce my music in a closet, i have all of my paddings just to make it good

One of my friends also made me a GOOD GRIEF! piece, so i have it hanging on the wall

I have my speakers and my little Focusrite (which I would like to upgrade), which basically plugs in the mic and any string instruments i need to record

I’ve also got a little mic, guitar, and keyboard too. the keyboard’s tucked in right now, but i bring it out wherever i need to do key things or drums since I don’t have actual drums

Most of them are software instruments that i work on using Logic Pro, which is not the standard digital workstation you’re supposed to use in the music industry, but it is…budget-friendly

Viv: and that’s what matters

Because we’re out here making the most of our money

dani: yeah! I also have a little keyboard when I don’t want to bring out the other keyboard

Viv: that’s adorable! Especially when they have the little mixer on the top

dani: yeah! All that stuff

I will say, equipment for audio is not well-priced for the independent artist

Viv: I bet it’s not

dani: yeah

I also have some string instruments in a separate room

I’d say I’m still building my equipment stuff, but also like, audio gear is always changing

I recently got a job at the House of Blues as a sound engineer, so i’m learning about like, live equipment and stuff.

You can do mixers on the ipad now, which is so convenient because that means you don’t have to get like, big gear and stuff, you know?

Viv: yeah! Like how video game streamers who use their tablets or phones as stream decks

dani: yeah!

I would say that gear doesn’t matter, as long as you got a vision and a way to put music out there, then go for it.

Viv: a laptop and a dream

dani: yep! I get that so much, especially with making this album too

I was so scared to put it out, that’s why it took so long to get it out there.

Viv: how long did it take for you to put it together?

dani: the first song i wrote was 2am, and I wrote that in 2017. So five years in the making

Viv: whoa

dani: yeah, and part of it was because i was afraid to put it out

about a year ago, it just kinda clicked in my head like, “you know what…I don't care how it sounds. I need to put a deadline to it so that i can just share it with people, because after this, i can make more music and just continue

As long as something comes out of this, i don’t want to hold it in.

Viv: so it took years before you posted it back in March?

dani: yeah, and it wasn’t even the technical aspect of it all, it was very much an internal thing

Viv: i know the feeling, sometimes i get hesitant with my work too but i reach a point where i’m the same and i say “i just gotta put it out”

dani: and it’s also accepting where you are in your creative career.

Like you won’t be Ariana Grande-esque from the get-go, you have to start somewhere, and i’m glad this is where i start.

Viv: me too.

like just seeing you do what it takes to get your music out there is so heartwarming. you don’t have to know everything from the start, you can just have a little bit of something and just go from there, no matter your circumstances

dani: yeah! exactly.

Viv: let the ship sail and fix the holes when you see them

OKAY LETS DIP INTO THIS LAST SECTION

CHOOSE YOUR OWN QUESTION

Now this is interesting, because you chose your question before we got into this chat.

Out of the three prompts i listed, you chose “Oddly Specific,” something in your experience that is very specific to your Southeast Asian identity. Do you still want to go into that?

dani: yuuup

Viv: hell yeah, let’s do it!

dani: yeah of course!

okay, i wanna talk about my living situation growing up.

So imagine four acres of land and like, six to seven houses on that plot of land and its just your family. that’s how i grew up.

we call it “the village” (and we still call it to this day), because it’s very similar to how my parents lived back in Laos.

Because of this, i always had cousins and uncles around. basically, my neighbors were my family.

Every day after school, i’d go outside and play with my cousins. We’d ride bikes, we had a dirt bike/dirt car phase, we had skateboarding phases

But as i grew up, i learned that other people normally live in suburbs and nuclear family houses. I was like “wait, is that supposed to be me? Am i supposed to be like that?”

“Is my living situation right? Is it wrong? but…I kinda like how the village works”

Viv: Yeah, like what even is correct and do we have to be correct?

dani: yeah!

Looking back at it i’m like “ you know…i had fun. It was a good childhood.”

And now that i’ve moved back to Houston in the suburbs, I’m living the teenage dream that i imagined haha

Viv: lol like the people in the movies

The way you’re describing it makes it sound like you moved across towns rather than two vastly different living situations

dani: LOL yeah!

In school, i would tell my friends that i have chickens and ducks at home and they’d be like “what does that MEAN?” haha

Viv: LOL “Are you on a farm?!”

dani: exactly!

In college, i kinda got some backlash because i went to a predominantly white institution. i would say that i lived in a village and they thought i was so weird for it. It made me feel very secluded

Viv: yeah, and not looking white already makes you feel ostracized

I know that feeling, it’s like..part of the diasporic experience

dani: yeah exactly, you understand

and now, if i ever find myself in those spaces again, i’m very secure in myself to not let people like them get to me

Viv: i’m glad to hear that! I also think creating your own spaces and inviting people there definitely makes you feel less lonely

dani: yeah! That’s what i love about the internet, i’ve met so many cool people through the internet

Viv: for sure, finding the right people makes you feel good

is there anything else you find specific to your identity?

dani: hmm

I remember…

You know how in school, you’d have those writing prompts about your life?

One of the prompts would be like, “What’s your favorite holiday?,” and i would always say “Laos New Year”

I love talking about Laos New Year to people, especially if they aren’t familiar with the celebration. it’s still my favorite holiday to this day, because that’s when the Houston community — or really all of the Lao community — come together in April and we celebrate the new year together

what makes me the most happiest about the celebration is that we have a parade on that Sunday. the parade goes around the temple three times, and you can sign up to create a float that represents your community or a specific part of your community

for example, we have the village, but there’s another name for the village. it’s called “lak saam sip,” which translates to “post sign 30.” since it’s a village, it’s kinda difficult to find, so whenever we invited people to come party, we’d say “come to lak saam sip” because there’s a post sign that says “speed limit 30” right in front of our village.

And so that’s how they know where it is

So we would be repping “lak saam sip” at a parade

There’s so much to explain i’m getting all over the place LOL

Viv: no please keep going I wanna hear all about it

I actually just recently learned about Lao new year through my social media.

I’ve only heard of Western New Year and Vietnamese Lunar New Year, and now I’m hearing about Lao New year.

There’s SO MANY NEW YEARS

dani: THERE’S SO MANY

I think Lao New Year also goes with Cambodian New Year and Thai New Year. We all celebrate at the same time, but I’m unsure about how they celebrate it

Viv: dw I’ll find some people to explain Cambodian New Year and Thai New Year, but until then

please continue talking about Lao New Year 🍿

dani: yeah! So on Sunday there is a parade and we would go around three times, and as that’s happening, each float is just bumping music, just having a good time

Viv: in Southeast Asian fashion

dani: EXACTLY YEAH

And there would be water guns and hoses, everyone’s just spraying water to bless everyone for the New Year

I don’t know how this came about, but shaving cream got into the mix, so we would be like

Hitting everybody with shaving cream

It’s KINDA crazy

Viv: is that specific to your parties or is that a general Lao New Year thing?

dani: yeah! It’s everywhere

Like each major city would pick a weekend so that the whole Lao community in the US could travel every weekend to celebrate again

Like i remember celebrating in houston, and then two weeks later I went up to Saginaw near Dallas. that’s where one of the biggest Lao communities are and they have a whole neighborhood they would go around, which is so awesome

it is the biggest village i’ve ever seen, like a neighborhood as a village

Viv: So like a much larger-scale version of what you were living on?

dani: yeah a WHOLE neighborhood

and right in the middle is the temple in saginaw, it’s HUGE

i’m so excited to go next year again, cause i experienced that as a child, but i forgot how big it was until i went this year

Viv: I’m excited for you!

dani: thank you!

that reminds me, in front of the other floats, there are the monks that have their own float, and then there’s a Miss Songkran float, which is like the “Miss Lao New Year” float

Viv: *BIG GASP*

dani: yeah! so there’s a pageant that happens the day before, on the Saturday night

I’m not a big fan of the pageant personally, but i respect that you’re able to see the Lao culture throughout the pageant. you get the traditional wear that the women wear and it’s kinda encouraging the younger generation to dive into our culture

…though it is a bit misogynistic, in my opinion.

Viv: …yeah, i understand where people are coming from with the pageants, but it’s also…

it’s a very…dated tradition

dani: yeah, exactly

Whenever i was looking at it, i was coming up with so many ideas on how we can improve the pageant…though i don’t know how it would go well with me having to talk with the generation above me to change it up

Viv: yeah it’s like, probably more of a community effort than just you going in

dani: yeah! like change up the questions, actually LISTEN to the girls…

there’s a questionnaire portion of the pageant and, i don’t know…the questions seem…biased

Like there was this one question that really bothered me. It was like, “education is so important. So which college are you going to?”

Viv: OH NO

dani: or like “What are you studying?”

and i was like, “oh, so…we have to go to college still? Is that something we still gotta do?”

It’s very much showing the colors of whoever made the questions.

Viv: Mmmm

I understand why they’re asking, but…

dani: yeah exactly lol

Also the audio was not good, you couldn’t hear the girls answer, which i was like, “you know what, i’m fixing it next year. whoever’s on the sound board, i’m taking over.” lol

So i’m hopeful for the future, it’s just a matter of talking with people my age

Viv: yeah, redefine traditions

dani: get with the times lol

Viv: and on the topic of time, we are closing in on the end of the feature—any last minute things you wanna talk about?

dani: yeah! there’s something about my album that i wanted to discuss

Before our chat, you asked about the inspiration behind the album and message i wanted to give to people, and I really like that question, so i want to answer it.

so the inspiration of my album was basically my life and what i went through, my experiences. what i learned creating this album is that one of my biggest values is vulnerability

Because like, with the immigrant household, it’s very difficult to be myself, so the message i want to give to everyone is

be cringe.

Viv: oh

LOL

dani: be unapologetically cringe, because eventually some greatness will come out of it

that’s all i wanted to say

Viv: I agree

It’s like that one quote that’s like “your fear of looking stupid is holding you back”

Viv: you may be cringe but like, you’re having fun!

dani: yeah i’m having fun! And i’m okay with taking up space and being myself.

Viv: TAKE UP SPACE

Because WE don’t get enough space to begin with

dani: just a little

Viv: hahaha

dani: like, i was afraid to release this album because i didn’t want to be cringe

But afterwards I was like “you know what, this is me. If i’m embarrassed to be myself, then how am i gonna go through life?”

Viv: yeah, and really like

The only way you attract people you want to attract is if you put yourself out there

dani: yeah!

Omg that’s like my biggest fear, to put myself out there

Viv: you and me both

I’ve spent so many years trying to be something i wasn’t, but now i’m comfortable with just being myself

Being in conversations like ours is the perfect example of what happens when people put themselves out there

You find people who want to talk to you about your creative stuff

dani: and i’m so happy that we’re here

We found this place in the universe and we met

Viv: yeah! And it means a lot.

No words can describe this experience

dani: i agree

100%

You can listen to dani's music, including her new album 'GOOD GRIEF!' on Spotify. We've linked her artist page here for your convenience. You're welcome.